Imagine…leaving all fear behind, and stepping into faith. One of the hardest things I have ever done, but I have always heard the quote “walk my faith and not by sight” seems easy enough if life never got in my way. I am a 42 year old woman who has always lived in the awareness of my childhood dream of writing. I have always known God as a child, but did not form a relationship with him until I became a teenager, now as an adult I rely on him for clarity, wisdom, and a sense of being.
Imagine… not having a perfect childhood, child of immigrant parents, my Mother was an over achiever, who spent all her time in school and my Father had a natural talent that most people go to school for, he was a great tailor who entertained people but lacked showing interest in his own children. Neither one of them were good parents, and as harsh as that sounds the true reality is most parents can’t teach you what they have not been taught, so I found out early enough that life would be the one I would have to make, no one to give me anything, but then take a lot.
Imagine…I learned life lessons not from a book, but staying quiet with no voice, just the use of my eyes, I watched and absorbed good and bad behavior from everyone around me, I started making life’s decision early, I knew who I did not want to become, I knew who I wanted to be so I followed a path to get there but failed because I didn’t have the right guidance, I had the environment but no one to guide me through it.
Imagine…My leap of faith is now here and there is no turning back, I have created an adult life for myself without a blueprint from my parents, my children are wonderful beings of this great borrowed earth, and I have a great husband that holds my hand through, life’s up’s and down’s. I have managed the art of letting everyone around me believe that everything is alright, even though, I have an ache inside that needs to come out.
Imagine… I am declaring my lifelong passion of writing, and I’m setting a goal to continue what I have started, I am no longer going to pack excuses in a bag and drag it behind me, I am emptying out the ideas of waiting until my kids are old enough, I am emptying out the ideas of waiting until my bills get caught up, I am never going to replace, retrace, or escape things that has happen in my past. I am taking a leap of faith to find the freedom which may alter some relationships between friends and family members who may ask why or you can’t.
Imagine…Today I am stepping out of My shadow, My past, My guilt, My sorrow, and I am soaring over the rainbow of My future, My truth, and My light and I am going to Imagine the Image of Imagination of whom I am going to become, who he wanted me to be, a fearless WRITER.